Now showing: Adah, Head of SecurityFree admission. No refunds19 trails, 0 lanesGift shop open 24/7 (not really)Do not feed the Curator after 9 PMJosiah's 2:00 tour now 4 minutes longEveryone is crazy after taking the mask offAsk about our Land YachtVisitor parking: anywhere Adah allowsNow showing: Adah, Head of SecurityFree admission. No refunds19 trails, 0 lanesGift shop open 24/7 (not really)Do not feed the Curator after 9 PMJosiah's 2:00 tour now 4 minutes longEveryone is crazy after taking the mask offAsk about our Land YachtVisitor parking: anywhere Adah allows

Lobby / Hall II

Hall II. Security office and break room

The Canine Wing

Head of
Security
Adah
Belgian Malinois. 75 lb of pure surveillance.
Adah, on duty. She is always on duty.
Junior
Docent
Josiah
Miniature Schnauzer. 20 lb. Mustache does most of the talking.
Josiah conducts the 2:00 tour. It lasts four minutes and ends at the treat jar.

Posted by order of the Head of Security

Museum Rules

  1. Visitors will be greeted, sniffed, and logged. No exceptions.
  2. Any ball thrown on museum grounds becomes the property of Security.
  3. The Curator’s 3 to 5 mile runs are mandatory escort duty. Security sets the pace.
  4. The Junior Docent is not permitted to supervise the cheese.
  5. Squirrels are not visitors. Squirrels are an incident.
  6. Security does not take breaks. Security takes positions.
Case file 0047. Suspect remains at large, usually on the couch.
Audio Guide: Adah, Head of SecurityYou are being watched. That is all. Proceed to Hall III. Walk, do not run. Running is mine.